With our generation’s growing reliance on social media, are we at danger of having our online and offline lives blur into one another? And could that affect how we interact with one another in the real world?
In a day and age where everything is documented and centred around social media, the anxiety they cause is harming our ability to form meaningful relationships. Gen-Z-coined phrases like ‘casual’ and ‘situationship’ have taken over as forms of courtships rather than just dating. These labels have arisen due to the freedom social media provides which makes it seem senseless to commit when you can just swipe. And with so many dating apps at our fingertips, these grey area labels take precedence over commitment and, thus, the situationship is born.
But this is not entirely to blame on social media. Casual relationships have been around for years, it’s just now that, instead of doing it in the pursuit of a relationship, people reap all the benefits of the dating phase without having to be honest about where things will go. “I feel like situationships are replacing actual relationships as it’s more normal to see someone these days in a casual relationship rather than a committed one” said Lara, 21. “I don’t think they are a bad idea if both parties are on the same page, however from every situationship I’ve been in or witnessed it always feels like someone is drawing the emotional short straw”. It seems some people enjoy the term as it provides a no-rules nature to a relationship that allows for freedom.
Authenticity is dying and social media is the cause.
So why has this changed the nature of relationships? “It seemed like dating was different when I was younger; if you liked someone you would just ask them on a date and if it went well then the rest basically history” said Jennifer, 56. It’s clear the prevalence of the situationship has increased with the popularity of social media and dating apps as they enable and encourage the ability to talk to as many people at once. This is a breeding ground for low-commitment relationships to grow, as it feeds a human desire to be validated by multiple people. The problem with this is it’s replacing emotional intimacy in romantic relationships, as its never seems to be truly ‘casual’. There always seems to be some sort of string attached that can never be discussed, as emotions are off the table – something which usually ends up in disaster, with no relationship able to be built on a grey area of mistrust and fear of vulnerability.
However, these labels that are being thrown around are also not the only driving force behind people’s inability to form romantic relationships; younger generations have a fear of being perceived, an inability to tell the difference between being judged and being seen. This plays a role in Gen Z’s relationships as most people fear emotional vulnerability in this nonchalant era, which in hand affects how intimately we know people without wanting to seem cringe or off-putting for being ourselves.
And in this social media age, people are scared to post what they want and express how they feel, as to be seen as a multidimensional person with flaws and interests may seem embarrassing to some. Authenticity is dying and social media is the cause. People are more obsessed than ever with the latest trends being pushed online as it’s easier to fit in than to be perceived as different from the crowd. There are countless videos asking “what shoes or coats are we wearing this winter?”, which gets asked in a different way every season; it seems that when you align yourself with a certain aesthetic or trend you are seen as ‘in the know’, and there is a lot of pressure to make sure you’re perceived correctly by others. This all stems from the natural human desire of wanting to be a part of a group, but it comes at the cost of not being perceived for who you truly are. To be liked for your ability to keep up with the latest trends just creates an ‘in’ group without the need for actual interpersonal connections.
The added pressure of this hivemind mentality curates a fear of being perceived as there is a lot less pressure in being cool and casual than just being yourself. People are applying these false personae to relationships as well, as they are too scared to be vulnerable. Social media is a visual medium, so all your followers know about you is what you post, causing people to portray a certain persona that is not reflective of who they actually are. This is seeping into how we interact with people in real life, as the lines between these online entities and offline persona have become blurred, and people are becoming the edited version they portray of themselves online, with that performance less scary than just being yourself.
Overall, there is no problem with wanting to be in a causal relationship or to enjoy something that is trending but to do so to avoid expressing how you truly feel is what’s hurting people’s ability to speak to one another, with our obsession with phones and the online world seeming to be the ultimate cause of people’s growing lack of individuality.
