Why do people hate those who succeed? When you go online all you see is people commenting on everything. All things must fit into a certain box, fit a viewpoint and not step too far out of the boundary set by… well, someone apparently. But where does it end? Why does someone actually achieving something seem to piss everyone off?
Crab mentality describes the observation of crabs in a bucket. Whenever one of these crabs tries to climb out to safety, the rest pull it down, making sure none of them make it out. No one can escape. But humans aren’t crabs… or are they? Especially in small rural communities in Scotland, it seems as though anyone who finds something they succeed in gets shamed for it, effectively getting pulled back into the bucket of mediocrity.
This act is called tall poppy syndrome. It describes someone succeeding and their community, in response, finding something, anything to tear them down. Though not strictly a UK problem, it seems most prevalent in Scotland, especially in more rural areas.
‘”If I can’t have it, you can’t either”
But this problem, which was previously restricted to individual communities, has now been blasted onto the world stage, with social media actively promoting it. The more comments or rage the better the engagement, and thus the more people see the content.
Highland Fine Cheese put it best: “Sometimes the country is like an exasperating friend, to whom you want to say: ‘oh, give yourself a shake’. I am coming round to the suspicion that there is an ingrained disdain – bordering on resentment – for people who make a success of discovering a previously untapped niche”.
As a lover of cheese and social discourse, I have to agree with Highland Fine Cheeses. In other countries such as the United States of America, people celebrate those who become famous – they lift them up no matter how unlikeable they (Jeff Bezos) may be.
Simon Pegg, the English actor, commented on tall poppy syndrome during an interview with Conan O’Doyle. After the success of his film ‘Shaun of the Dead’ he explained that he expected it to happen. During an interview with the Sun, they accused him of ‘running off to Hollywood’ and leaving the UK behind. An actor who actively worked to play in films he was genuinely passionate about, was being accused by a newspaper of letting the stardom of one film get to his head, when this was not the case. Actors like Pegg aren’t anomalies, and it’s hard to see media comments like this and not think about all the actors who tried to branch out only to be shut down by their communities, never being able to reach such stardom in the first place.
But why does Scotland have such a disdain for people who succeed. I don’t personally feel as though us humans are crabs, nor that everyone in our island is so insecure that if they can’t have something then no one else can either. So what is the actual reason?
During the pandemic people became rather… brash when it came to criticism because they were stuck at home behind a screen, resulting in the online world becoming harsher to those who stand out. But that is not new. If you dress differently in a small town people will stare and make comments. Villages especially are filled with gossips, myself one of them. My neighbours got two Minis, one lime green and the other bright orange; I spent the next four months making jokes to my family about whether they’d get a red one to ‘complete the traffic light’.
“people are miserable and like to complain about others especially those who do well. The UK as a whole is infamous for complaining, especially about the weather. It’s the one thing that unites us. ”
I’ve noticed a difference between my friends in Germany and my friends in Scotland. I tease my Scottish friends relentlessly, if they wear a weird outfit, I will never shut up about it. But with my German friends, I would never make a comment because they would take it completely to heart. The culture here in Scotland is more sarcastic. So, is that why people tease those who succeed so much? Maybe, but it goes beyond calling someone with a red hat Mario, or my neighbour with their traffic light cars. It borders onto harassment, because it’s less about whether they have bad taste and more about the fact that they have the option to buy them.
I agree that teasing is a form of love, my friends can attest to that, but it goes beyond that. The mild gossip goes beyond such minor comments and evolves into ‘why can she do that… I want to do that’. I myself have found myself thinking like that a few times, and it takes active effort to snap out of it. I don’t hate people who succeed, never, I’ll stand by their side and cheer them on, but the devil on my shoulder sometimes whispers ‘I deserve that, not them’. So why does social media incite people to listen to that devil?
In my many years of wisdom living abroad (I jest, I am a mere 20-year-old) I have noticed this sentiment far more in Scotland than in Germany. The position taken by many, ‘if I can’t have it, you can’t either’, just isn’t shown there. At least not openly joking about someone just because they happened to do better. If anything, they lift up those who managed it. Maybe it’s because of the weather here that everyone is slightly depressed. I mean there’s a reason Scotland isn’t one of the top ten happiest countries in the world.
Highland Fine Cheeses said it best; people are miserable and like to complain about others especially those who do well. The UK as a whole is infamous for complaining, especially about the weather. It’s the one thing that unites us.
There’s no go to fix for a society that actively enjoys bringing people down, but it’s not all bad. Not everyone hates those who succeed. Most people love watching others flourish, but everyone has that devil on their shoulders and when one person says “oh did you hear about…” you can’t help but add fuel to the fire, no matter who you hurt. Facebook thrives on negativity and it’s not the place to be if you enjoy your peace. There are good people everywhere, just not there. I couldn’t name one person on Facebook who was pure of heart.
Social media has become the new frontier of small-town gossip. Whereas people used to come together and complain about anyone different at meetings, now it’s become an online debate with a worldwide stage, broadcasted to all, not just small communities, and their complaints and hatred are amplified and pushed by algorithms that love discourse. This discourse encourages those of us who do enjoy listening to their personal devil to continue to do so – for what is more important than attention?
